Fate and Fate's Consequences
by Pointofnoreturn
Summary: An injured Harry unknowingly made his way to the home of a certain werewolf, Remus J. Lupin. Things happen they had never even thought of. SLASH HPRL
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, and never will. Stands for whole story.

A/N: I like Harry/Remus as a romantic pairing. That is the basis of this story. I also like hurting Harry. There might be quite a bit of that too. Odd mixture I know. Anyway, deal with it. For anyone who is okay with that, this is the story for you! Hehehe.

Rating may change in the future though probably not.

This will probably be the shortest chapter, cos this is pretty short.

CHAPTER 1

Harry was flying slowly on his Firebolt through the stormy sky. He was cold, and he had to struggle to keep his head up, or to keep his eyes open to see where he was going.

The rain was plastering his hair down over his face, and was making it almost impossible to see through his dripping glasses, as well as the fact it was nighttime and dark.  The invisibility cloak he had worn for most of the journey was now sodden and had slipped down to his left shoulder and was threatening to fall off onto the boggy moors.

The cloak was not the only thing threatening to fall off, as Harry himself was trying hard to stay awake. On top of such difficulties, it was hard to ride a broom with only one arm to guide it. Harry had had neither the coherence nor the inclination to study his injuries, but the pain was a constant reminder of how plentiful and how grievous they were. It also made it somewhat hard to pinpoint where the pain was coming from, not that he had tried.

Harry blinked some blood from his eyes to try to clear his blurred and obstructed vision, but to no avail. Somewhere a voice in his head told him he was sinking, and he was finding it more and more difficult to keep control of his broom.

Harry's mind had barely told him he was no longer flying horizontally when there was a jolt and Harry toppled from his broom and into what must have been wet mud. His body cried out in protest but he slowly and painfully pushed himself to his feet, staggering for balance.

He tried in vain to see something of his surroundings, but quickly gave up and frustratedly tossed his glasses from his face and they sunk down into the mud. This didn't do much to improve Harry's vision, but although things were much more blurry he was able to see further ahead of him without the rain droplets to obscure his vision.

Harry knew he lacked the strength to carry his belongings, so he left them in the mud. Hopefully he would be lucky enough to find them later, as unlikely as that may be.

He limped forwards and painstakingly slowly he continued his journey; to where he didn't know. Somewhere in his mind had told him which directions to take, but now he was beginning to doubt it was the coherent part. He was probably completely and utterly lost.

As hope seemed to leave him completely, Harry once again fell forwards into the mud and stilled. His mind was rapidly shutting off, and his body didn't seem to want to let him take another breath. He knew he was dying, and really it didn't seem to bother him any more.

The small amount he could see around himself was rapidly fading to black, and then he saw a light. The light wasn't bright, but dim and inviting, and it seemed to hold some hope. But then he realised the light was fading too.

Suddenly Harry didn't care for dying any more; all that mattered was getting to that light. It really wasn't too far away, he told himself. Perhaps all of ten minutes in his battered condition.

He forced himself to take a ragged breath, and then another. He realised that walking would now be impossible and pulled himself up onto all three relatively working limbs (he couldn't seem to even feel the pain from his right arm, let alone get it to work), and crawled towards the light. The dizziness in his head was threatening to take over, but he wouldn't let it.

For an immeasurable amount of time, Harry only concentrated on willing himself to keep moving forwards, and keep breathing in and out.

It seemed like a lifetime later when Harry stopped sinking into the ground beneath him as he crawled, and instead he now felt solid tarmac beneath him. He looked up through dripping hair, blurred vision and the blood in his eyes and saw that light. It looked like it was coming from a window on a small house. He suddenly felt that this house was where he was meant to be; this was where he had been guiding himself.

He saw a door and crawled towards it, finally depositing himself on the doorstep, struggling for each breath into his lungs. He wondered what he should do now he was so close to where he felt he ought to be. He raised his hand to knock on the door. He knocked a couple of times with as much force as he could put behind his fist- not very much it seemed, he managed only to make a couple of feeble knocks. Harry realised that whoever was inside the house would likely not be able to hear them over the thundering sound of rain on the windows and roof.

Harry choked in a breath and managed to reach the door handle from his position on the doorstep but it wouldn't move. It seemed to be locked.

In a last ditch effort Harry gathered all the strength his body possessed and dragged himself up using the door handle for support. Leaning against the wall he reached towards the doorbell, seeing nothing but white as his vision swam, but before he could press it he heard hurried sounds coming from the other side of the door. Before he could wonder who it might be, the door was thrown open, exposing the figure of a blurred Remus Lupin, squinting out into the darkness and shucking on a raincoat.

After a moment of peering outside, Remus' eyes fell to where Harry was leaning on the wall, and their eyes met. Harry saw the older man's eyes register the sight before him with surprise and horror.

"Harry!" the man exclaimed in shock, moving towards Harry quickly.

Harry had no time to register the concern. He finally gave in to the blackness in his mind, and fell forwards into Remus arms, before he saw no more.

A/N: What is wrong with Harry? What will Remus do? Will sparks fly? Review! And you shall find out all in the next chapter. Please review if you want me to carry on, or to give an opinion whatever.  :)


	2. Arrival

A/N: Wow! I didn't expect to get so many reviews for my little first chapter, but it makes me very happy :) I wasn't sure whether to do review responses or not, but I will this chap tell me if you prefer not to have them if it gets in the way of the story. Scroll down to the chapter heading to get on with the story.

AJ Taylir- Yup lol. Cool. Well I hope to do this in a way where it doesn't seem OTT but hopefully it's mostly for plot purposes. True there are many ways I could have done it but… eh well lol.

idril.tinuviel- Me too! I am writing, I am writing… But of course :P but I don't want it to move too fast but just tell me if its going too slooooow!

Piper Of Locksley- Thanks! :D

rofro05- Oh thank you! I shall do my best and I hope this goes in the RIGHT direction!

stillinmycocoon- Oops yeah I've sorted the review thing now you can anonymously review. Didn't know I had it set to that. You will see… Hehe but I dunno if I'll continue this fic onto Hogwarts. I might you never know, but if this fic is successful enough I might write a sequel for that ;) Yeah Harry will probably celebrate 16th bday in this fic. By H/R I suppose you mean Ron and Hermione? Or Harry? I am confused. Anyway thanks I liked this review everyone else please give me advice and tell me what you'd like to see :)

xxxNighteyesxxx- Thank you so much! And I am sure you knew grammar was spelt with an 'a'… ;)

Redmeadow- Sorry :( um… no I do not like my chapters to be cruel and unfulfilling…

silver-sunn101- Thanks! I completely agree, more Harry/Remus is needed hee. Odd? Yeah well… lol

momma-dar- Thank you that's so nice!

Arigazi- Your review was the one that convinced me to post this next part. Thanks!

All reviewers- Thanks for reviewing!

CHAPTER 2- ARRIVAL 

"Ennervate, respiro, ennervate!"

Harry heard the spells vaguely as he was pulled to consciousness. The panicked voice was now saying something to him, most of which he could not figure out because he was slipping back into darkness.

"Ennervate!"

Harry heard the spell again, but slightly clearer this time as he was dragged further into consciousness. He wanted to tell the voice to stop it, to go away so he could go to sleep.

"Harry, can you hear me you've got to stay awake. ENNERVATE!"

Harry was pulled even further into consciousness, this time far enough to open his eyes. His eyes took too many seconds to focus on his surroundings. Well, perhaps focus wasn't the right word. His vision was appallingly blurred but he still managed to make out a face through the splotches of colour around him. When he squinted slightly the worried face looked very familiar. The face seemed to realise his trouble and spoke again.

"It's me, it's Remus. Stay awake, please don't sleep again."

"…Remus," Harry managed to choke out, barely audible but Remus heard.

"Yeah, Harry you've got to stay awake, please stay awake for me."

Something inside Harry registered the 'for me' as something worth staying awake for. He didn't see why it should make any difference but it did. Harry opened his eyes further and turned his head slightly towards Remus, concentrating entirely on staying awake.

"That's good, good. We should go to St Mun- no there's no time, I need potions," Remus muttered quickly to himself. Harry noted that the man sounded completely panicked.

"Harry I need to go get some potions from the cabinet I'll be back in just a second, stay awake until I come back."

"No… stay," Harry whispered feebly. The man looked torn but then nodded and sat back down on the side of the what must have been a bed Harry was lying on. Remus still had his wand clutched tightly in his hand.

"Accio pepper-up, accio blood-replenishing potion, accio first aid!" Remus yelled.

Even in his damaged condition, Harry couldn't help but smile slightly at the humorous sight of the three blurry blobs whizzing through the door. Remus saw Harry's smile and smiled himself. He picked up the first of the three items, a bottle, and he gently helped Harry drink the contents by holding it to his mouth.

"That's pepper-up potion. I know you probably don't have the flu but you will do after coming here in the cold and the rain like that. It should help to keep you awake too."

Harry did notice that besides the pain he was feeling warm and dry, and that was before steam started issuing from his ears. Remus must have cast a drying spell on him.

Remus then fed Harry the blood-replenishing potion.

"This'll help you feel a bit better. You should drink another in a couple of hours," Remus said kindly, and then he picked up the third blob, which looked more like a muggle first aid kit up close.

Harry still had to concentrate to stay awake, and to try to ignore the pain coursing through his body.

"This is going to hurt, but I have to clean out your wounds," Remus said, his voice hitching.

As Remus started to wipe at Harry's wounds with some sort of cleaning solution, Harry could only think to agree that yes, it hurt like hell. He couldn't help the gasps of pain, and even through his blurred vision he could see that the stark white bandages that came out of the first aid box all came back red after contact with his skin.

"Harry what happened?"

Harry turned his head slightly away. Even if he had wanted to talk he didn't have the strength. Maybe he should go to sleep after all. His eyes were drifting closed.

"Stay awake!" Remus shouted desperately. "You have a nasty… cut… on your head."

Harry could hear Remus gulp as he talked, and knew it must be much more than just a cut. He could feel the waves of excruciating pain from his head, but no more so than the rest of his body. He opened his eyes again and then noticed that Remus was holding his hand. He squeezed the hand slightly and was rewarded with the blurred sight of Remus' smile. Harry felt at once comforted and gripped the hand as if it were a lifeline, which perhaps it was.

It seemed that Remus was just as unwilling to let go as Harry, as he started putting bandages on Harry one-handedly, fumbling awkwardly with the strips of material.

"Well uh, I've done the best I can," Remus stated as he finished off a particularly tricky bandage on Harry's chest. Harry was suddenly struck with the thought that Remus must have taken his shirt off. The thought made him blush slightly.

"Thanks… Remus," Harry croaked. Remus looked up in surprise, and suddenly their faces were only centimetres apart. Harry could see Remus clearly from this distance- his facial expression was one of slight shock and then he just looked into Harry's eyes. After a moment, Remus looked down, his cheeks slightly pink.

What happened next shocked Harry to no end. He couldn't be sure, but as he felt a tiny drop of wetness on his shoulder he thought that Remus must have been crying.

"Sorry I…" said the man suddenly, stepping away from where Harry lay.  "Harry what happened? No never mind you can tell me… tomorrow. I just- I don't- was it Death Eaters? No, it's not safe here, you have to go back, they'll look for you here-"

Remus was rambling but what he had said caught Harry's attention.

"No!" he yelled hoarsely, sending yet more waves of pain through his body. He winced. "Safe here… stay here. Just don't… don't make me go back."

Then there was silence as the full implications of what Harry had said hit Remus full on.

"No…" the man said, his voice full of despair. "All these years."

He looked up and was quickly beside Harry again, holding his hand.

"You're safe here, I won't let anything happen to you."

For some reason Harry believed those words completely. He smiled as much as he could without hurting too much, and Remus smiled back reassuringly.

Harry lay reflecting on Remus words as the man accio-ed through a couple more potions. They whizzed into the room again and Remus caught them nimbly with his free hand, then picked one of them up for Harry to drink.

"This will help speed up healing a bit," he said, feeding Harry a purple potion, then picked up another potion, a swirly amber colour this time. "After you drink this you should be able to go to sleep."

"Don't wanna go t' sleep anymore," Harry slurred, gripping Remus' hand tighter. Remus smiled dazedly and fed Harry the potion anyway.

"It's probably best that you do now. I'll be here when you wake up."

Harry nodded lethargically. Besides his efforts to stay awake, the blurred room slowly drifted from his vision. The last thing he felt before going to sleep was Remus' hand in his.

A/N: Eeeeeurgh, mushy. So what will happen next? Revieeeeeew please :) 


	3. Bonus

A/N: Just a little extra chapter, not much but I'm gonna call it a whole chapter so I don't screw up the numbers. I wrote this after I wrote the next chapter, and it doesn't fit exactly with the flow of things, also it's a pretty weak chapter but I wanted some closure on stuff, so here it is.

CHAPTER 3- BONUS CHAPTER 

Remus extracted his hand carefully from Harry's. He felt bad about doing it, and he didn't really want to, but stronger than his will not to leave Harry's side was a deep feeling that he couldn't quite repress. Besides, Harry was not likely to wake for quite a while yet, long enough for Remus to execute his plan.

Alright then, in truth Remus didn't really have a plan. It was just the indescribable feeling that was driving him, and made him walk away from Harry and towards the door of the room. Casting one last sad glance back at the sleeping figure, he slipped out the room. Then out the house.

*

With a small pop, Remus appeared on a prim-looking street, and walked swiftly towards a prim-looking house where a large brass number '4' adorned the white front door.

Remus knew that there was protection on the house to prevent him from breaking in; else he might have done just that. Instead he rang once on the doorbell, and waited with eerie patience.

There was the unmistakable sound of muffled voices that Remus could hear only due to his unusually sharp hearing. He rang the bell again. This time he heard a thump come from the top of the house. He rang again.

A minute and one ring later, the door opened and Remus saw a large beefy man with a thick moustache standing on the other side, wearing striped pyjamas and looking very angry.

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF-" he started, before stopping abruptly when Remus walked into the house, still oddly calm.

"Hello Vernon," he said pleasantly. "I don't suppose you remember me."

Vernon Dursley was by that point decidedly purple in the face, but then he quickly drained of colour as he caught a good look at the man in front of him.

"You," he seethed, trying to sound menacing though not being able to hide the fear in his voice. "You're one of the freaks from the station!"

"Very good. Now can you remember the warning we gave you?"

Vernon, if possible, seemed to pale even further. 

"That freak boy deserved everything he got!"

"Vernon!" a shaky voice hissed from the staircase, where on closer inspection Remus saw that Petunia was crouched behind the banister. "He can't prove anything!"

"Too late, you've just proved my suspicions for me," Remus said calmly, taking out his wand. "You can't say you weren't given fair warning."

The Dursleys looked at the object Remus was wielding with absolute horror.

"It's a shame that only witches and wizards can be sent to Azkaban, but fortunately I've got the next best thing," Remus said, before pointing his wand at Vernon and Petunia in turn and whispering a spell. "Demento Repentus."

Petunia screamed, and Vernon shook with either rage or fear, or a combination of both as the spell shot at them. Neither of the Dursleys spoke, rather they looked as if they thought they were facing the apocalypse and would drop dead at any moment.

"I haven't hurt you," Remus said disgustedly. "But I suppose you'll soon find out how it feels to be haunted with nightmares every night of every bad thing you've ever done. I hope for your sakes that you have it in you to repent for what you've done, or it won't ever end.

"And if you ever even go near Harry ever again, I won't hold back next time."

Remus glared at the Dursleys one last time before turning to walk out the door, with one parting comment before he left.

"Oh, and put Dudley on a diet. A proper one."

With that Remus left the house, and turned back only to cast one last spell.

The house behind him flashed blue and pink as he walked down the street, and then disappeared with a pop.

*

Remus walked back into the room he had left not fifteen minutes before, and drew up a chair to sit beside the young man who slept there. He slipped his hand back into Harry's. He wanted Harry to know he was there when he woke, but also he craved the contact and something more that he couldn't quite put his finger on.

Remus sighed sleepily; he was just too tired to think any more. Relaxing in the chair he fell asleep.__


	4. Misunderstanding

A/N: Be sure to read chapter 3, which I posted at the same time as this one. I don't like this chapter :( Thanks so much to all reviewers! Don't be offended if I don't reply to your review, but I've decided to reply to the ones where a response may be necessary so that the review responses don't get in the way of the story too much. I'm so happy to be getting reviews; they're what keeps me writing. AJ Taylir: Good idea!! Saavik13: I hadn't forgotten about Harry's stuff, but thanks for reminding me. Yeah I thought most wizards would have a small stock of potions, and werewolfs/aurors/members of the order etc. might have more, like a wizard's medicine cabinet. Redmeadow: Gotcha. See THAT I can work on. Sarina: oh is it not obvious what happened to Harry? Sorry I tried to make it apparent without having to delve too far into it. Well I wrote chapter 3 to try to clear that up a bit, but since it's a bit depressing, it's not easy to write. A kiss? You'll see ;) Arigazi: Of course! I see it as being pretty near the beginning of the summer holidays between fifth year and sixth year. School is in just under 2 months I guess. I don't know if I'll be writing Hogwarts in this fic, but I do have some ideas for what might happen there, so we'll see... All reviewers: thank you all!!!  
  
CHAPTER 4- MISUNDERSTANDING  
  
Harry slowly returned to consciousness. He just lay still for a few minutes as he let himself remember everything that had happened. Events flashed through his head, but one stood out more than others. Remus' hand in his.  
  
Harry moved his hand to check the hand was still there, which it was. The movement seemed to cause the older man to stir a bit. Harry heard a yawn, and then a voice.  
  
"Harry? Oh, you're awake."  
  
By this point Harry had opened his eyes and was looking slowly round at the blurry room. His eyes met with the face of Remus, and he smiled.  
  
"Mornin' Remus."  
  
"How are you feeling? Any better?" Remus asked concernedly.  
  
Harry paused in consideration of the question while he checked that everything was working. He still hurt quite a bit, but not half as much as he had done.  
  
"A lot better, thanks," Harry replied, and Remus smiled.  
  
"Do you want something to eat? I'll get you something to eat you must be hungry. Wait here," Remus said, standing. But his progress from the room was hindered, as Harry's hand did not let go of his own. In fact, Harry tightened his grip and didn't seem to want to let go.  
  
"No," Harry said gently, but with conviction. "I'll come with you."  
  
It wasn't just that Harry wanted to do this himself; he didn't want to lose contact with Remus.  
  
"Harry I'm not sure that's such a-" but Remus stopped talking abruptly and concentrated instead on helping Harry as he started to sit up from the bed.  
  
A few minutes later Harry was leaning heavily on Remus, who had his arm round his waist as they walked slowly through the small house. They eventually made their way to the kitchen, where they sat down. Harry was reluctant to part with Remus, though he did. He wasn't quite sure what these new feelings meant.  
  
"Thanks Remus," he said, looking up to meet the older man in the eyes. Much to his frustration he was met again with the sight of a blurred face he was only slightly able to decipher as that belonging to Remus.  
  
"No problem, Harry," the man answered, but Harry wasn't listening.  
  
Harry was leaning forwards towards Remus, all the while the man's face getting clearer and clearer into focus. The closer he got, he realised, not only would Remus become clearer, but it seemed to feel more... right.  
  
Harry noticed that now the man seemed to be watching Harry intently, and with a slight expression of surprise, but not making any move to stop Harry from coming any closer. They were now only inches apart.  
  
"I can see you now..." Harry said dazedly, but didn't stop moving forwards. He longed for contact. /Just a little bit further/ he thought.  
  
Harry expected to feel Remus' breath on his face, but the man's breath must have caught in his chest just as Harry's had. Instead Harry could only feel the slight warmth from his skin, from his lips... /only millimetres away/.  
  
Harry tore his gaze away from the mouth, which was slightly parted in surprise, to look up into Remus' eyes. He looked to see the man gazing right back into his, as if willing him to close the gap.  
  
There was a pause, a moment which seemed to last an eternity, but then suddenly there was movement. In completely the wrong direction.  
  
Remus had stood up, and was once again just a person-shaped blur to Harry's vision. Harry sat back in his chair dejectedly.  
  
"You need your glasses," Remus stated the obvious, stammering slightly. "I'll get them for you. Where are they?"  
  
"Outside," Harry replied in a monotone, giving away no feeling. "I dropped them on the way here. My Firebolt and the invisibility cloak too."  
  
Remus nodded and left the room. Harry let him leave.  
  
The pain that had been forgotten to Harry in that moment of closeness with Remus returned to his body full blast.  
  
Harry was now fully aware of his intentions, but wasn't really surprised at all. Nor was he surprised that Remus had seemed to come to his senses after all.  
  
/Why would he want me anyway?/ Harry thought. He supposed this was just one of those things that he would have to pretend never happened.  
  
A/N: What will happen? Does either Remus or Harry truly understand the other's intentions? Don't worry, I have a plan. Well there ya go, 2 chapters at once. Shorter than usual, but you got more than usual... pleeeeeaase review! 


	5. Burned

A/N: Thanks reviewers, I love my reviews so much! From this point on I think the chapters get progressively longer as I get into the flow of it. Well, minimal author's blabbing this chap, on with the story!

CHAPTER 5- BURNED 

Feeling weak and tired, Harry fell asleep on the table and was awoken fifteen minutes later by the sound of a door swinging shut heavily. He groggily looked towards the sound of footsteps entering the room. The sight he was met with was not at all what he expected.

"Aagh!" he yelled, sitting up straight and wide-eyed, staring at his former professor in shock.

Remus Lupin was standing at the kitchen doorway, absolutely soaking, and caked with mud. Harry could tell as much from the wet smell, the sound of dripping on the kitchen tiles and the fact that Remus' blurred figure was spattered with large brown blurs. He held what looked to be half of Harry's beloved broomstick in his right hand. Despite all this, the one thing that was completely un-missable was that half of Remus left arm was missing from the elbow down.

"Wh-wha… you… arm…" Harry spluttered in horror.

Remus looked slightly puzzled at Harry's reaction. He looked down at himself. Then, oddly enough, he grinned. He looked back at Harry who was still wide-eyed with shock, and started chuckling.

"I found your cloak," he said, laughing and tossing the muddy invisibility cloak onto the table, revealing underneath it a notably whole arm and an equally whole broom. 

Harry too started laughing when he finally figured out what was going on. He noted in his amusement that he had never heard Remus laugh before. It was a good sound, and it was that sound alone which had managed to bring a smile to Harry's face.

"Oh," said Remus, wiping a tear of mirth from his eye. "You should have seen your face!"

Harry just grinned. It seemed that the awkward moment only a short while ago was already forgotten. On further thought, Harry wasn't sure whether that was a good or a bad thing, but it was enough to wipe the smile from his face. 

Remus was also looking sombre again and he muttered a cleaning and a drying spell at both Harry's belongings and himself.

"Repairo," he said, handing Harry a familiar item. "Your glasses."

"Thanks," said Harry, but as he reached up to put them on, a terrible pain ripped through his arm and he cried out. Remus was by his side in a second, kneeling beside Harry who was still sitting in the kitchen chair.

"What's wrong? Is it your arm? It looked pretty bad when I put the bandages on…" he said, wincing at the memory.

"N-no, it's fine, I mean I couldn't move it at all yesterday."

The statement did nothing to placate Remus, it only seemed to make him more worried.

"Here," he said, closing his hand over Harry's own, though only to take the glasses from them. He reached up towards Harry's face and gently placed his glasses on, staring into the green eyes as he did so.

Harry couldn't help the small intake of breath as suddenly Remus came into completely clear focus. He could see the worried look, the shadows under his light golden eyes, the eyes themselves that drew Harry in completely. /Completely beautiful/ he thought. And the man's hand was still lingering on the side of Harry's face, as Remus gazed back.

Remus moved his hand against the warmth of Harry's skin, moving it further back and gently cupping the side of his face, fingers lacing through the raven hair.

Then Remus drew his hand away, and Harry let out the breath he had been holding. No different than last time.

"One minute," The older man said, looking not at Harry but at the floor, and he stood and hurried out the room.

Harry closed his eyes. He couldn't do this. He knew he would feel the same way every time Remus was near.

Surprisingly, Remus came back quickly, carrying another potion and his muggle first aid kit. He drew up a char beside Harry and placed the items on the table, though still not looking at him.

"Right, I'm just going to… see how you're healing up," his tone was forced and businesslike, and Harry didn't like it.

"Yes sir," he replied bitterly, and didn't notice the hurt expression on Remus' face.

"Umm, drink this, another healing potion. And I'm gonna… take the bandages off."

Harry nodded distractedly, picking up the potion with his good arm and drinking it down quickly. He tried not to notice Remus hands on him and round him as they worked to take the bandages off. Instead he found himself wondering if he had looked anything like an Egyptian mummy as more and more bandages came off.

"How does it look?" Harry asked once Remus' hands had not returned. He wasn't vain, he just wanted to know if there was any lasting damage.

"Looks good," Remus breathed, and Harry felt hands on his skin once more, sending a tingle through him and he shuddered. Remus seemed to come to his senses and coughed. "I-I mean it looks alright. Your arm still needs some healing, and you have a few scars-"

Harry groaned. More scars, great. But then he suddenly thought of something. If the scars were bad then people would notice, and he really didn't want people to know. Remus seemed to read his mind and spoke again.

"Oh they aren't bad, you only have a few," he said quickly, and seemed to have dropped his attempt at a professional façade. "Well you have one here," Remus gently brushed his fingers against a tender-feeling area above Harry's left Temple, where his hair would usually hide it.

"And here," he continued, bringing his hand down further and touching below the right shoulder. Remus' touch was sending tingles through Harry once more.

"And here," he barely whispered, bringing his hand down further still to brush against the right of Harry's stomach. This time Harry couldn't repress the shiver but Remus didn't seem to notice.

"They aren't bad, they'll barely be noticeable by the time the healing potion has taken effect, and the others will have completely disappeared."

Harry captured Remus' hand in his own before he could draw it completely away. He looked into his eyes again, and Remus looked back. He willed Remus not to pull away this time, with everything he had in him. 

Remus pulled his hand away, and Harry felt his heart break. Three times burned… He lowered his head so Remus would not see the slight wetness of his eyes.

"Harry," Remus sighed. "You… you can't stay here."

"W-wha?" Harry spluttered. Had he ruined everything?

"I should make arrangements for you to stay somewhere else,"

"You're sending me away? Because of… Why? Please, you can't!" Harry was almost begging now. Remus looked torn apart.

"The full moon is tonight, it's too dangerous," Remus said shakily.

"Dangerous?" Harry asked, his voice rising. "What do you mean by dangerous? Considering the Dursleys' was my safe haven I don't really think there's much to be said about matters of _danger_!"

"Harry, I'm a werewolf!"

"I don't care! That never bothered me before, why would it bother me now? I'll stay inside while you transform, you can go outside on the moor or whatever it is you do…" Harry pleaded. "You have your wolfsbane potion, you're not going to hurt me!"

Remus winced, and then the look on his face suggested to Harry that that was entirely the wrong thing to say. But the look was not one of sadness, or hurt, it was one Harry would never have associated with the usually mild mannered man- one of anger. But still when he spoke it was with deathly calm.

 "I suppose you think that's all there is to it. Well I don't know what I expected, after all you are just a child."

Remus walked out, and Harry was left sitting in shock, a comment never having hurt him so much as the one that was just uttered.

Elsewhere, having walked out the room, unknown to Harry, the only anger Remus was feeling was towards himself.

A/N: Eep! Complications… Well can anyone guess what the stuff there is to it is that Remus is referring to? Anyway tell me what you think, suggest stuff, ask questions etc. Same as usual- want to know what happens next? REVIEW! :)


	6. Moon

A/N: Hmmm well I don't suppose I gave you enough clues really to figure out what Lupin was on about. I'll give you a clue, he and Harry both know what's 'going on' here, as you might say. And what he was talking about had a double meaning, referring both to why Harry couldn't stay and to what was 'going on'. Oh, I'll tell you eventually anyway :P

Thanks so much reviewers! I promise I will clear up all confusion in time :)

CHAPTER 6- MOON

Harry just sat, his head in his arms upon the table, for a long time. He didn't know how long, but it must have been a little over an hour and Remus had not returned. The man's words resounded in his head- _just a child_. Harry supposed that Remus had left him to do whatever it was he was supposed to do by himself. Get out the house… get some food. Harry was hungry.

He got up slowly from the table and grabbed some food he didn't think Remus would sorely miss. A couple of slices of bread though was perhaps all his stomach could handle.

Chewing absently on his bread, Harry sat again and thought. But thinking hurt. In fact, everything hurt, and not just physically. He found himself wondering where else he could go. The Weasleys would probably have him.

Surprisingly, this thought only made Harry hurt even more. It made no difference who would have him, the one place he wanted to be most in the world was right here. If only Remus would have him.

Harry sighed and got up once again from the table, wincing at the slight pain as he did so. He had already noticed some scars that Remus had neglected to point out- a quite spectacularly large one on his arm, and judging from the pain in his back (not to mention his uncle's favourite target) there were quite a few there. Enough to make Harry wary about letting anyone see them.

He quickly made a makeshift sling for his arm, using one of the less bloodied bandages lying on the table. He then thoughtfully put the rest in the bin beneath the sink and made his way out of the kitchen.

It was at that point the heard a sudden 'whoosh', and a short yet distinct roaring of a fireplace. Harry was sure that Remus had not left, so whomever it was that had undoubtedly just entered by floo, was probably not welcome.

Harry backed slowly into the kitchen again and grabbed a knife from the drawer, which he wielded in front of him using his good arm. He crept back out the kitchen stealthily, and into the hallway then towards the sound he had heard, holding the knife like someone would hold a gun in a muggle spy film. There were more noises, footsteps this time, and Harry could tell for sure that they didn't belong to Remus.

Harry crept towards the door of the room the sounds were coming from, and stopped for a moment. Taking a deep breath, he threw open the door with a bang and jumped through. The sight he was met with made him stop short.

Snape was standing a few steps away from the fireplace in Remus' quaint living room, one eyebrow raised at Harry's battered, shirtless and knife-wielding form.

"Snape!" Harry exclaimed, lowering the knife and suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

"Potter," Snape replied, his eyebrow still arched critically. "I suppose you thought it unnecessary to inform the order of whatever… _scrape_ you managed to get yourself into this time. Or perhaps you just enjoy having everyone rush around after you."

Harry glowered at Snape, but then wondered why he hadn't thought that everyone might worry about him once they discovered he was gone from Privet Drive. Snape must have noticed his change in expression.

"Now get out of my way, I have business to attend to," Snape said unpleasantly. 

Harry didn't move. He inhaled deeply, slightly afraid of what he was about to do. He was about to ask Snape a favour.

"Um, could you," Harry gritted his teeth and forced out the offending word. "_Please _don't tell anyone about…" he motioned to the scars on his body.

For a moment Snape looked slightly taken aback, but then he smirked.

"Believe it or not Potter, I'm not here for you. It is none of my concern what you do with yourself," he sneered. "Though I believe I shall have to inform Dumbledore that you are… _safe_."

Harry was inwardly thankful and supposed this meant that Snape wouldn't tell anyone. At that point Remus walked through the door, looking a little worse for wear himself. _Still beautiful_, Harry thought, but averted his gaze before he was caught staring.

"Your potion," Snape sneered, thrusting a bottled potion unceremoniously into Remus' hands.

"Thank you," Replied Remus, ever polite.

The words were barely out the man's mouth before the potions professor had stepped rudely back into the fireplace with a swish of his robes.

A moment of silence passed before Harry looked up at Remus, who avoided his gaze. He would have given anything for Remus to have just looked back, to run into his arms; to have- Harry shook his head roughly, successfully dispelling the thoughts.

"So… where do I have to go?" Harry asked eventually, trying unsuccessfully to keep his voice from hitching.

Remus sighed deeply and sank into one of the living room chairs, almost asleep on his feet.

"You don't have to go anywhere," he said resignedly.

Harry looked back up hopefully. "You mean I can stay?"

"Yes," Remus said, smiling. "I can't send you anywhere else while you're still healing, I know you don't want anyone to find out about," he trailed off. "It might take a while to figure out how things are gonna work but… some things just need time."

Harry smiled the widest smile he had done in a long time. He sat down next to Remus and suddenly he craved for contact, anything would do. He reached out his hand tentatively and laced his fingers into Remus'. This time Remus did not pull back. In fact, after a slight flutter of his own fingers he tightened the grip.

Harry couldn't ignore the fluttering of his heartbeat, but he knew that this was safe territory. Remus was smiling, and Harry was feeling the best he had felt in a very long time, but they were only holding hands. He knew that anything more, or even the slightest movement, and the contact would be broken.

So they sat that way for a while, and some time later Harry noticed that Remus had fallen fast asleep, his pre-moon weariness finally having taken over.

*

Several hours later, it was almost time for the moon to rise. In that time Remus had woken up and taken his wolfsbane potion and had instructed Harry in what to do while he had transformed.

"Stay inside Harry, don't come outside for whatever reason. This potion may give me my mind during transformation but don't let that fool you into thinking it's safe. A wolf's instincts are almost impossible to ignore."

Harry nodded, making a silent promise to heed Remus' words. Remus smiled at Harry and then quickly and unexpectedly enveloped him in a huge hug. Harry hugged back.

Then they parted and Remus began to leave. Harry wanted to stop him, to yell 'don't go!', but he didn't.

"Get some sleep, I'll see you tomorrow," said Remus as he walked out, and Harry nodded again, not trusting himself to speak.

Of course Harry didn't get a wink of sleep that night. He sat in the living room not long later, his eyes stinging as he heard Remus' screams. He blocked his ears, trying to block out the sound of the man's pain that reached him from all the way outside. The screaming soon stopped as the wolf probably took over, but Harry was still haunted by the sound, and knew he wouldn't be able to get to sleep. Instead he tried to distract himself by taking in his surroundings.

He was sitting in the living room, a comfy room with a faded burgundy sofa and chair, both worn down looking yet cosy and comfortable. A fireplace dominated one wall and the crackling fire within brought the room to life with flickering warmth. Harry brushed his fingers over a large foe-glass looking object sitting beside the sofa on a mahogany table. On the wall was an impressive painting of the moors with the initials 'RJL' in the corner. Quite impressive indeed, Harry thought. But his attention was grabbed by a clock which hung on the wall, much like the family clock the Weasley's had hung on their own wall, but this clock had only one hand.

The hand was settled in a segment marked 'home' and bore a single word across its length- 'Harry'. 

Harry's breath caught in his chest and he felt emotions welling up inside him. Here was evidence that Remus cared about Harry and where he was at any one time- something that Harry had never known before from anyone.

Harry remembered then what had happened when he first arrived here; Remus had come to the door without possibly having heard him. Was it possible that he had just looked at the clock? For Harry had certainly been beaten by his relatives before, but this time was probably the one time he had been in 'mortal peril' from it. Mostly his uncle just aimed to hurt him, break bones, teach him a lesson. But this time he had undoubtedly aimed to kill… Harry shivered and looked for something else to distract his attention.

Besides a couple of candles on the walls, the only thing left in the room Harry had not yet examined was a large mahogany bookcase filled completely with books of all sorts. He recognised a lot of the books from Hermione's own remarkable book collection, but there seemed to be many more. He read the spines and saw titles such as 'The Philosophy of Magic', 'Hogsmeade, a History' and 'Advanced Arithmancy Volume VII'. Harry smirked. Remus Lupin was definitely a scholar. 

As Harry looked along the spines, reading the titles of the books, he found one book where he couldn't make out the title. The spine was bent and frayed as though it had been read a hundred times over, and it seemed to have been given pride of place- the very middle of the middle bookshelf, also the most accessible.

Harry, overwhelmed by his curiosity, carefully pulled the book off the shelf. He had to be careful because it looked like it would fall off its seams if he were any rougher with it. It was an old-looking book, bound in brown weaves of fabric. He looked at the title on the front and was instantly puzzled. 'History of Magic Homework' it read. What was so exciting about that? Harry didn't know Remus was a history of magic enthusiast.

Still curious, Harry opened the book as if looking for answers. He happened to find the answer on the very first page. There was handwriting on the inside, and the true title of the book; 'How to Become an Animagus'. Harry recognised some of the handwriting from his godfather's letters, and could guess at who the other examples of handwriting must belong to. It read- 'Dear Moony, happy birthday! Here you go, the very beginning of the marauders. Have fond memories, love Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail.'

Harry scowled at the last name but felt a constriction in his throat as he read the note over and over. He flicked through the pages of the book and found it was filled with notes. All the margins, the gaps between the paragraphs, everything was noted on with the same handwriting as on the front page. Harry wiped his eyes and ran his fingers over the pages in awe.

Then he had an idea. If they could do it then why couldn't he? It was at that moment that a seed of an idea was planted in his mind that would only keep growing. He had the reason, he had the will, and here he had the instructions right in front of him.

As the idea grew in Harry's mind, he found himself wishing he could join Remus at that very moment. He wished he could be running outside with him, and wished that Remus never had to be alone again for even a single moment of his life.

Harry started to do calculations in his head. It had taken them just under a year to finish their animagus studying and become animagi. But perhaps since there were three of them they were three times more distracted? And surely they weren't half as determined as Harry was. Of course he would need to allow himself time to study the procedures, but then again he wouldn't need to make any notes or amendments to the text either since that had already been done for him. Plus, the marauders had had to have lessons also at the time, which would afford them less time to study to become animagi.

Harry eventually came up with a rough answer. Taking into consideration all the factors, and following the notes and advice of the marauders as well as the text within the book, he could possibly finish studying to become an animagi in just under two months- just in time for the full moon after next, just before the end of the holidays.

Harry smiled.

Harry sat and studied for the rest of the night, the only sounds permeating the otherwise silence being the occasional howl of a wolf at the full moon.

A/N: Yikes! Big long chapter! Hmm not much of Harry and Remus together but there will be next chapter I promise. So what do you think? Oh and I would also appreciate any help with Harry's animal, so it's not too clichéd or anything. REVIEW PLEASE!!


	7. Lovesick

A/N: Thanks everyone who gave me animal ideas, you shall see eventually which I chose, not yet though. In the meantime here's this chapter. I got inspiration for the part towards the end from my other fic 'Wands Out'. Anyway, on with the fic!

**CHAPTER 7- LOVESICK**

Harry read and read, his eyes occasionally drooping, but he stayed awake knowing that this would probably be his only opportunity to revise undisturbed for as long as a month. From now on, Harry told himself, he would revise in secrecy. If Remus found out he would probably find a way to stop him, and that was exactly what Harry didn't want.

After countless numbers of hours, Harry had managed to read his way through about half of the book. He had ruthlessly skipped sections such as 'Are you sure you want to become an animagus?' and 'The international registry of animagi'. Almost right away he had found himself facing an outline of the procedures, which included (in roughly this order); study, a potion (Harry groaned), more study, another potion, yet more study, and finally a rather long and complicated spell which would induce animagus transformation.

As Harry reached the end of yet another chapter, he focused again on the real world as he stretched his tired muscles. Giving an almighty yawn, he stopped his actions when he noticed something different about the room. _When did it become light? _He got up and walked towards the window, where as he suspected the light shone through clear as the dawning day. Above the undulating horizon could be seen the spectacular pinks and oranges of a just-risen sun in what looked to be an almost cloudless sky.

It was at that point that Harry realised just what this meant.

"Remus!" he exclaimed quietly.

Without a second's further thought, Harry ran from the room and to the front door. He rattled hopelessly on the handle, which refused to yield; the door was locked. Harry swore loudly.

Anyone else might have given up at this point, but Harry was determined to be by Remus' side, whatever state he might be in.

Harry looked for keys to no avail, he pulled at the door, he swore at the door, he kicked the door, he even pleaded with the door but it would not open.

Harry could feel his emotions rising; frustration, anger, helplessness. And above all he wanted to be with Remus.

"Alohamora!" he shouted finally, and the door sprung open helpfully. Harry took a moment to be impressed with himself before he fled the house with a muttered 'thank you' at the door, grabbing an old battered cloak from the porch as an afterthought on his way out.

Facing the vast moors before him, Harry noticed again the hopelessness of his situation. Remus could be anywhere within a few miles radius. Harry ran a hand through his hair in frustration. Why couldn't anything just be easy? He took a deep breath and started walking, not caring how long it might take him. Forgetting about the pain or tiredness of his muscles, Harry found himself going faster and faster until he took to the search at almost a run.

* * *

Perhaps his feet had just coincidentally found the right direction; perhaps there were higher forces in play. Harry pushed back the reminder of the journey on his broom only days earlier to concentrate on more important matters, as he sprinted to close the distance between himself and a huddled figure. He fell to his knees beside the fallen man.

Harry saw the scratches first, long jagged cuts in the beautiful man's skin. Then the closed eyelids, then the deathly pale complexion, then the shredded robes, the rough edges stained with blood. All painful reminders that this would have been Remus' first full moon spent alone in over two years, and the wolf had turned to self-harm to keep itself occupied. Harry reminded himself of his earlier promise; Remus would never have to spend another moment alone as long as Harry could help it.

Harry rested the man's head in his lap and stroked the hair back tenderly from his face. He rested a hand on the man's cheek and whispered soothing words, which went unheard.

"Remus," Harry whispered, giving the man's shoulder a slight shake, but he didn't wake. Harry didn't want to wake him, but he didn't see how he would manage to get the man back to the house.

With his good arm, Harry pulled Remus up into a sitting position. The man was light but it was no easy feat. Harry pulled his other arm out of the makeshift sling. It was still slightly sore, and seemed to have lost some of the nerve response, but it would help to have use of both his arms. He looped his arms around Remus' torso and pulled him up from the ground with all the strength he could muster. Harry thought Remus probably wouldn't have woken even if there were an earthquake. He brought the man's arm around his own shoulders.

Harry was tired and sore but Remus meant more to him than that. He had no idea how he managed to do it, but an immeasurable amount of time later Harry found himself back at the house, having carried the werewolf all the way. He gently lowered the man to the soft carpet floor of the hallway, and almost collapsed himself. Instead he wiped the sweat from his brow and made his way up the stairs. Once upstairs Harry found a medicine cabinet containing neatly labelled bottles. He grabbed a pepper-up potion and a healing potion (the last one, he noted) and made his way back down the stairs.

"Bloody underage magic rule," Harry muttered under his breath as he propped Remus up again. This would all be so much easier if he was able to use magic.

"Remus?" he tried again to wake his former professor. "Remus!"

He shrugged; he didn't think it would work anyway. He remembered that the first time he ever met Remus the man had been sleeping. He smiled fondly.

"Well if this doesn't work," Harry uttered, talking to himself again.

He unstoppered the pepper-up potion and poured a little into Remus' mouth while pinching his nose. The outcome was exactly what Harry had hoped for.

Remus swallowed the potion, and groaned as steam began to issue from his ears. He opened his eyes groggily. His unfocused eyes then settled on Harry.

"Sirius?" he slurred quietly, looking slightly confused. Harry felt his eyes prickle a bit. Last full moon it would have been…

"No," Harry choked out eventually, smoothing the man's hair back from his face. "It's me, Harry."

"Harry, 'f course it is," Remus said, sounding more alert as his eyes focused. "I'm sorry…"

"No, don't be!" Harry protested immediately, without caring what Remus was supposedly sorry for.

"Sorry you had to see me like this," Remus continued.

"I'm not. Well I am but-" Harry fumbled for the correct words. "I'm not sorry that I'm here for you."

Remus gazed at Harry with eyes that, although bloodshot, held a wealth of emotions. "And I'm here for you," he said earnestly. "Whatever that's worth."

"More than you'll ever know."

There was silence, and Harry realised his left hand was rested on Remus' cheek. He bashfully removed it and used it instead to try to pick up the healing potion. However, his fingers weren't quite cooperating and it was hard to get a grip, the bottle slipping from his weak grasp each time he tried. Once he noticed that Remus was watching, he gave up and used his right hand to pick up the bottle instead.

"Umm, here. Thought you might need this," he said, handing the bottle to Remus who tiredly accepted it and propped himself up against the nearest wall, glancing at Harry's arm suspiciously.

"Thanks," he said, downing the potion. "How's your arm?"

"Er it doesn't hurt much at all any more it's just a bit harder to move is all," Harry answered uncomfortably.

"That's what I was afraid of," Remus answered tiredly. "It might never heal properly."

Harry winced. He had had the same thought himself but hadn't wanted to believe it. He changed the subject.

"Does that happen often?" he asked, pointing cautiously at the long jagged cuts adorning Remus. Remus looked slightly uncomfortable.

"Used to. And- and I suppose it will now… Now that…"

"Yeah I understand," interrupted Harry gently. "You don't have to explain. Anyway… I thought I should wake you up. Don't think I could carry you up the stairs anyway."

Remus' head snapped up to look at Harry once more and Harry realised his slip, too late to take it back now.

"Carried…? You carried me here?" Remus asked, shocked.

Harry nodded bashfully. Remus looked as though he might reprimand Harry, but then his face softened.

"Harry I… thank you."

Harry blushed. "Well I guess you should sleep now," he said.

He stood up and helped Remus up. Five minutes later they were up the stairs and in Remus' bedroom, Harry having tucked Remus in despite the older man's objections.

"'Night, _mum_," Remus teased.

Harry laughed, and then yawned widely without thinking. He looked back at Remus to see him watching Harry suspiciously. His thought processes were almost visible in his expression.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" he asked finally.

"Yes!" Harry lied quickly, before crumbling under the knowing gaze. "Well not exactly…"

Remus sighed, shaking his head and yawning himself. "Yawns are infectious you know…"

Harry half-smiled. "Sorry."

Remus looked at Harry with that indecipherable expression on his face. Harry even thought for a fleeting moment that it might be the same expression he must have used himself while regarding Remus lately, but he brushed the thought aside as wishful thinking. He reasoned that whatever it was about Remus that turned him into a lovesick loon couldn't possibly be affecting Remus as well- things just weren't ever that easy, were they?

Remus was now looking between Harry and the spacious double bed he was lying on. He looked back at Harry one last time then shifted over in the bed, gesturing to the space by means of an invitation.

Harry thought he had been frozen in time. He nodded numbly and lay down in the offered space, not trusting himself to speak. Remus nevertheless seemed to understand he was thankful, and smiled. He had that indecipherable expression back on his face again.

"'Night Harry," he whispered.

Remus fell asleep almost as soon as he closed his eyes, overcome by post-moon exhaustion. Harry stayed awake a little longer. He turned to face the sleeping werewolf, and reached out to touch the peaceful expression on the man's face.

"I love you," Harry whispered quietly, almost inaudibly. Of course he received no reply, just the sounds of the man's steady breathing.

Harry fell asleep soon after, overcome by exhaustion himself.

* * *

Remus had a dream while he was sleeping. He dreamt that Harry told him "I love you". In the dream Remus responded.

"I love you, Harry."

* * *

A/N: It's the mush! I can't stop! I have mush fever! Well you know what that means, soon I'll have to give in to the mush's demands and just let them be together… Well that is assuming they actually GET together in this fic… Muahaha! Oh and before anyone asks, no Remus wasn't romantically involved with Sirius in this fic, he just misses him :( I also wrote a short what-if ficlet inspired by this chapter, called 'Werewolves Mate For Life', if you are curious. It takes this story in a direction I chose not to.


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